Often question arises in life whether I should speak out or be silent. Many times silence at wrong time gets converted into unwise situation. On other hand an argument may take the shape of violence if not planned properly. Silence and speaking-up, both have a capability to make or break relationship. Keeping silence or confronting depends on time, person and circumstances. One needs to apply both the tools at the right time with right people and in right circumstances. The key of relationship is trust. If the trust is absent neither silence nor speaking-up is going to work.
Confrontation can be private or public. For example, if you are travelling by taxi and driver is drunk where it becomes a risky situation, then keeping silence is foolishness. However silence or speak-up is more crucial in close relationship. Private confrontation at work may be between employee and boss, peer to peer or with external agencies such as clients, suppliers bankers etc. Personal confrontation may be between couples, families, friends, neighbors etc. Whether you decide to confront or keep silence, it is important to plan it properly, think of consequences and then apply. Unplanned confrontations mostly results in regression.
Question arises why people remain silent where situation demands to speak-up or why people confront for irrelevant issues. Probably a person’s basic nature is also a crucial factor whether one will go in a shell or confront. Nature ranges between highly introvert to highly extrovert, highly dominating to highly submissive or highly organised to highly disorganised and so on. Lack of wisdom, fear of losing relationship or lack of speaking skills can also be cause of person opting for silence over confrontation. There is an another view point that our education system, society and work teaches us more how to hide our thoughts and feeling rather than how to express it effectively.
5 Tips for effective use of silence and confrontation:-
1. Whether to be silent or speak-up should be a conscious decision. Tool of silence or speech shall be applied taking into consideration the factors such as time, people and circumstances.
2. Sometimes “let-it-go” can be a right approach for insignificant matters which hardly have any effects in the long run.
3. Keep the higher goal in mind. At home, relationship is more crucial whereas at work, performance is more important.
4. It is not necessary that you are always right. Look at the situation from other person’s perspective. Be empathetic. If needed seek apology for your wrong behavior irrespective of your position.
5. Use suggestive language more often than judgmental language. That creates better environment of listening and understanding.
“World has suffered more because of silence of good people than violence of bad people”.
दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े
मन ही निर्णय ले सदा, किसे बताये कौन।
कहाँ मुखर रहना हमे, और कहाँ पर मौन।।